Between Hesitation and Doubt

This residency has been an odyssey in painting, testing, trying, dreaming, failing, functioning and crossing paths. There is no map no end goal. There is the process and one needs to choose ones crew and equipment well as they will see you through the storm.

Bernd the soft spoken German, living in exile, told us over tea that hesitation was interior scratch on the vinyl stopping the song in a loop, eventually becoming it. Doubt is exterior, it is Senac’s Oedipe questioning what was. Doubt is like uncertainty you either banish it from your life or live with it. 

The brush stoke flails under hesitation representing weakness in the eyes of Picasso. He was speaking of Bonnard and his touches of colour. Painting is not just about adding paint but also about taking it away. Doubt becomes a friend in this part of the process, wondering is it better without. For Jeroen, doubt sits on a chair and looks, doubt gives him the courage to cut and reframe his canvases, to add tape, pieces of wood or shapes. Doubt becomes the third hand. 

While hesitation prevents us moving forward, doubt prevents us from finishing.

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